Moving to a new planet: The beginner’s guide


It’s no secret that Earth isn’t in the best shape. Some would say it’s seen better days. Our future is not on Earth, according to National Geographic. A search for a new planet is necessary for the continuation of humanity. We’ve put together a beginner’s guide on moving to a new planet to fill you in on the basics.

Why do we need to move to a new planet?

If for some reason you haven’t seen it on the news, Earth is on its way out. The global temperature is increasing, icebergs are melting, sea levels are rising, and animals are becoming extinct. It’s time to pack up and leave.

Moving to a new planet

A definite no-no

Research into living on Mars has suggested it’s not going to be an option for the colonisation of humans. It’s dangerous, has no oxygen, no protection from the sun’s radiation and would need too many changes in order to make it habitable. So, Mars is out.

What does our new planet need?

Talking about moving to a new planet is all well and good, but when it comes down to it, us humans are super picky. For a planet to be a contender, it needs characteristics that are pretty much impossible to find out there in the solar system. This includes having plenty of oxygen and water, which is surprisingly very rare.
Luckily for us, NASA are way ahead. Kepler-452b is Earth’s clone planet and could be the solution to our problem.

Getting there

There’s just one issue with this new planet, it takes 26 million years to get there. This is due to Kepler-452b being 8.2 quadrillion miles away. Make sure your phone is fully charged before you set off.

Inside spaceship

The new life; pros and cons

Now I’m sure you’ll be wondering what life will be like when we all eventually move to this new planet. A list of the pros and cons might help you out.

• No motorways or traffic, which means no more rush hour
• You’ll never have to talk to those annoying relatives again – just don’t tell them you’re going
• Leave all those credit card bills behind
• By the time you get there, you might be dead
• Tickets to get to the new planet cost £100 million, so if you’re not royalty or a Kardashian, good luck getting there
• There’ll be no social media to show people back on Earth who couldn’t afford a ticket how good the new planet is
• Unfortunately, Ebuyer doesn’t deliver to the new planet. Take advantage now before the big move, we’ve got some fantastic Black Friday offers!

So, if you’ve got the money and you’re at a loose end this weekend, think about buying a ticket.

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