Christmas Day, It’s finally here. Everybody anticipates a perfect day full of feasting, drinking and festive TV.
But some things don’t always go to plan. In fact, there’s several things that can go wrong.
Here’s what happens when they do:
1. The pigs in blankets get burnt
Burning the pigs in blankets is not something to be taken lightly and in my opinion is practically blasphemy.
Imagine this. The highlight of your day and most sacred part of the Christmas dinner has been burnt.
Could this day get any worse?
2. Being hungover from a heavy Christmas Eve night out
You were so excited for Christmas that you just couldn’t wait another day to start the celebrations. Instead, you rushed out on Christmas Eve to join your mates in the boozer and went heavy on the pints.
If you don’t have any siblings, you may be lucky enough to sleep in until 9am. But unfortunately, not lucky enough to sleep off the worst hangover of your life.
And your mum’s serving up a colossal feast in a few hours, but you can’t even face a glass of water.
Tough times ahead.
3. Losing at Monopoly
It’s the most wonderful time of the year and all the family is together. And what do you do when the family’s together?
Crack out Monopoly.
You start out quietly confident you’re the most business savvy and are destined for total board domination. Until you realise it’s not true and literally has no bearing on the game.
Your grandad’s got both Park Lane and Mayfair and is about to add his third hotel to the properties. You’ve got two stations, waterworks and Old Kent Road.
It’s game over.
4. Getting a Lynx Africa gift set
It’s the dreaded gift for any man.
They say it’s the thought that counts, but this really is a slap in the face. Even socks would be better than this, at least they have a use.
The only thing a Lynx Africa set is good for is cluttering up your bathroom, because you feel bad binning a gift from your auntie.
Nobody wants to smell like Lynx Africa anymore… what is Africa even supposed to smell like?
5. Your dad has too many brandys and becomes a professional comedian
Having woken up with a pounding headache and then opening the feared Lynx set, this is the last thing you want.
The Strictly Come Dancing Christmas special has finished, and your dad has just polished off his fourth brandy. He’s now under the impression that he’s the next Peter Kay.
It’s like he’s on stage, Live at the Apollo. Your mum’s laughing, your gran’s laughing, you’re not…
You’ve heard the same jokes for the past five Christmases and the whole charade is becoming increasingly embarrassing.
Isn’t it time for you to fall asleep on the sofa yet, dad?
6. Not winning the gift inside a Christmas cracker
Losing the annual game of Monopoly hasn’t sat well with you and you’re pining after that sweet taste of victory.
You glance across the table, carefully eyeing up a worthy opponent. You’ve met your match… grandma. Her hands can’t be that strong, can they?
Grabbing your end of the cracker, you’re certain that victory is only seconds away. But grandma has other plans.
She’s won? How!? she’s 72!
Now she’s enjoying her miniature nail clippers and you’re sat there like a chump.
The nightmare continues.
7. ‘All I want for Christmas’ by Mariah Carey plays for the 1000th time
Everybody has their favourite Christmas song, some would even put this banger at the top of their list. But you can have too much of a good thing.
Especially, when you’ve heard it on repeat for the whole of December, taunting you in every department store, as you rush around struggling to find gifts at the last minute.
“All I want for Christmas is some pigs in blankets that aren’t burnt”
The turkey is dry
So, the pigs in blankets were sub-par, much to your dismay. Surely there’s got to be some saving grace?
You lock eyes with the turkey and that bad boy is looking juicy. Carving off a hefty slice, you slap it on your plate and tuck in.
Bone dry. It’s like Gandhi’s flip flop.
And no amount of gravy or cranberry sauce can save it…
Christmas is ruined. Maybe next year will be better.