Christmas

Things you’d like to find inside a Christmas cracker

We’ve covered Christmas films, Festive parties and even Xmas getaways, but this time we’re turning our attention to Christmas crackers.

It’s Christmas day and you’re gathered round the food-laden table with your whole family. As tradition requires, you begin the ceremony of popping a cracker.

It’s common knowledge that you’re never gonna get a TV, tablet or any other tech! The items inside a Christmas cracker are usually… less than desirable.

So, we ask if you had it your way, what would you like to fall out of a cracker after claiming victory?

We’re looking at a few possibilities.

A fast-forward-to-summer button

Wouldn’t it be amazing if a big button, with a palm tree engraved on it, fell out and all you had to do was press it to be enjoying Pina Coladas in the sun.

No doubt no.1 on everyone’s list.

Unless you went hard on the mince pies and are worried about your bikini body not being ready.

In that case maybe a button that allowed you to get in shape without going to the gym would be preferred.

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Serotonin

I’m not entirely sure what form this would come in but I’m sure we could all do with a hefty dose to get us through those January blues.

No more presents, no more festive foods, no more Gavin and Stacy… no more nothin’. Sad times indeed.

January can be a rough month as everyone slowly gives up on their new year’s resolutions and it often seems like it goes on for way longer than 4 weeks.

It feels a little like this…

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A pig in a blanket

You’re expecting a mini Rubik’s Cube or crappy table top game and then… boom! A pig in blanket pops out.

Maybe it falls on the floor because you didn’t expect it, but dust off the dirt and it’s good to go. It is a pig in blanket after all.

This would be a welcome surprise for anyone. After all who doesn’t love pigs in blankets?

A joke that’s actually funny

Imagine the glory. You’ve won the prize inside the cracker and now you’re the worlds best comedian.

“I saw someone spill their scrabble tiles on the road… I asked him, what’s the word on the street?”

Oh, the scenes. You tell the joke to the whole table and people actually laugh.

People are nearly choking on their bucks’ fizz, it’s that funny.

You’re a real champ.

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A new liver

All that Christmas drinking is sure to have done some damage. After all it’ is the time of the year you have an excuse to drink every day.

There’s no need to cut back or change your habits, you’ve just been gifted a brand-new liver.

Give the hospital a call and get the bad boy fitted.

Your Christmas Cracker

If you’ve got some other ideas of what you’d like to find in your Christmas cracker, let us know in the comments.

We’ve got plenty of gadgets and gizmos that are perfect for either making your own personalised Christmas crackers, or just for stocking fillers. Check them out on our website.

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